03 June 2011

thou shall not supper before bedtime

Not sure if anyone bakes at nite and hv this self-inflicted obligation to taste their own food (ever so eagerly) before they sleep. I hope i'm alone in tis. Coz it's really unhealthy to eat and then knock out on bed nxt (then again, one is already so tired fr a day's work + the hard work of baking, how not to fall flat at the end of it all? head on the pillow =) grinning like a chelsea cat), which i did last nite.

They say if you hv late supper, you'll end up hving nitemares (who said that? WHO?!). And i really did!! @#$%&!* i had such a horrible nitemare last nite i don't even wish to tok or think abt it ever again. (Hence prompted tis quick entry)

I baked some bread last nite, for the Aspiring Bakers group of coz =) It wasn't a success but it's edible, and i will post it up soon when i hv the time.

Anyway, toking abt nitemares and dreams, while i was waiting for my bake to be done (& dying to go to bed last nite), i was surfing and reading up on all the wonderous bakes of other local bakers. Mostly faceless bakers who put a smile on your face when you see all their beautiful creations. i'm really amazed how the internet and blogging has allowed each of us to find solace in each other -- strangers, so to speak. In the protected confines of our own home, tiny space on our desks, and the tunnel vision of our eyes so fixated on the screen.. yet provoking much emotions within us, the aspirations, dreams and creative ideas for wat we can do wif our bare hands in our own lil kitchen.. it is days like these that i appreciate the quiet-me-time and think less abt going out wif frens, listening to their complaints & wat-hv-you, or the other distractions in life. Time -- you really need to think wisely on how you spend it.

i was also thinkin, if only i have the money, i'll open a bakery shop. And i will bake. And everyone else (the talented bloggers) will bake too. And everyone can bring their bakes to my shop and put them out for sale! It sounds like a silly idea (that's how castles are built in the air) but it would be so wonderful if i can do that. So then our aspiring bakers do not have to bake according to a standard (boring) list but just do watever they want and feel like on that day! (that's why we enjoy baking so much! we are not swayed by demand/trends or economies of scale!) So then everyone won't hv to be restricted, dictated, or concern wif the balance$ sheet$ but jus bake, bring over, quote a fee (which i'm sure will be reasonable for we hv been absorbing 100% of our own expenses baking at home!) & sell, or come collect back the leftovers in the nxt 2 days (or replenish new bakes!) or donate them to the charity! (Dun worry, bakes well-refrigerated can be kept up to 4-5days!) How often do we encounter 'the problem' of hving to finish up all our bakes on our own (soooooo detrimental to our waistlines, and those of our family members and frens!). I personally find it a hassle logistically to give my bakes away to frens, as much as they are willing to even come self-pick-up from my home.. and then you also wanna refrain from bias. "Why did this fren get to eat this and that, and i don't?" So far, my colleagues have been the proud and grateful recipients (much thanks to their support and encouragement), and they get to eat them freshest (jus baked yday!). Plus, taste is a subjective matter. Sometimes i do get hurt when i think my bake is perfect and others think otherwise. Their frivolous, sweeping statements can just throw your hours of hard/heart work, squeezed-out-dry-creative-juices-as-you-tried, sweat and aching back pain into the trashbin in a split-second. Not sure if any of you have encountered that. I have. Not that i expect high grades or fish for compliments, i definitely welcome constructive feedbacks. I can swear by that. But some folks who can't even fry an egg to save their lives like to add in more spice into their comments like they're David Lebovitz or Martha Stewart. Then you feel disheartened. Why did i even wanna act like a smart alec in the kitchen? I look at my hands. I think they've touched more loose powder and creme concealers than baking flour and sweet cream icings. 

That's why we bake.
Or rather, i bake.

Becoz baking is more than just bringing food to the table. It is a (very) personal journey, a learning experience, it's going beyond the imaginable. Not of how much or when to top the cake wif lovely cherries. But exercising your judgement of what you make in the kitchen will fill up the hearts of the receiver. (Giving and receiving has always been the constant cycle in life, if not this, i'm not sure wat we're living for) Withstanding the heat in the kitchen and testing your patience in waiting for the yeast to be proven for the bread to be quickly shove into the oven, working with (my large, clumsy) hard-to-steady hands in ensuring the texture of creams & beaten whites are right and not over-fried =p Taking up challenges and not paying for baking classes, trying out recipes (free fr the internet!) in ways that you deem right. That's the feminine instinct. Well, sort of. =) And the most realistic part of all these is, when and how (the HELL) to find time to bake that bread or tart, which you can so easily take the shortest route - pay 50% lesser (trust me, ingredients fr supermart, not wholesalers & our time is not cheap) and for a fraction of ur baking time, simply pop by ur neighbourhood bakery, grab that brownie and wolf it down with no mess in the kitchen. No washing needed. No mom's nagging. No backaches. No sweat.

Oh why did we start baking?

Becoz hving a passion that can't be bought is a gift. It is the energy that comes from bringing more of you into what you do.

Maybe i'll drop tis gift and blog altogether tmr.
But i know i will hv no regrets of not trying it at all.

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